Ugh school is kickin my hinney! Not to mention when you add all three of us have the flu, no thanks to some kid in A's class. She got over it fast, me, not so much. Im now on day 6 and no sign of getting better. K is starting to come into the worst of it. He's had a fever all day and been sleepy.
He has learned to crawl up on the furniture. Twice today he climbed on the couch to get into my lap to take a nap. Just crawled his little pampered butt up here and snuggled! I LOVE when he snuggles and him being at the age where he only does it when he's sick so I need to soak it up while I can.
I can not wait for the 20th or 21st to get here so I know whether or not my hubby is graduating on the 25th. I have full confidence that he is since he got moved to a different platoon away from the D-Bag RI. I am so over him being gone. I miss him like crazy!!!! Being sick makes me miss him more lol.
School is killing me. I should have known better than to take another class with this stupid history class. The first History class was hard enough to stay focused on because there was a crap ton of reading (BORING STUFF TOO) so why I chose to take another class with the 2nd half of my history credit, I will never know. I do know however that I am NOT taking any other classes with my math class. Im taking that next term and I'm taking it on campus. I have to otherwise Im not gonna pass it. I suck at math. It will prolly be the last class I take until we get moved if L gets into the battalion at Benning. I wont have time to take another class before then.
I just need to get all my major courses out of the way then I can focus on my electives which should be pretty easy to do. We'll see though.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Derrrr
So I've realized that after reading my past posts, that I have posted the same information about 3 time lol. I don't know where my head has been lately.
So anyone remotely involved in the military knows that there is bound to be drama! Well, the unit here has been pretty drama free, or at least this company, since we have been here. Well, all that changed with the start of the FRG discussion in my cafe mom group. So I had asked what unit everyone was associated with and it turned into a lot of girls no knowing who the FRG leader for HHC was (my hubby's company). Well guess what, I'm friends with the Co-Leader. We don't have an active FRG (yet we have the most fundraisers and money out of the whole unit cause we have a kick ass 1 sgt!!) so I tell them that we have had issues getting the email list and to email me their information. Well evidently someone doesn't know how to read. So somebody body drama llama privates wife goes and complains to the 1sgt that no one knows the and she is mad. Well all the guys get in trouble for something that wasn't their fault. Not to mention, some stuck up biotch co-leader in B co, who for this purpose we will call SB and who ironically would have it was my co-leader in Alaska, starts bad mouthing our company at the Coffee for the leaders and co-leaders!! The company commander had sent his fiance to this meeting cause after all, she will be the FRG leader once they get married and needs to learn the ropes. She speaks up to defend the company and explain the situation and why we are having issues and wouldn't you know big mouth SB turns around and says all stuck up, "Excuse me, we haven't met (knowing full well who she is) whats your last name? Oh that's right, you aren't a spouse and have no business at this meeting"!!!!! Can you believe that? She wouldn't have that position as co-leader if it weren't for her husband!! Also, we are in the same unit, we are supposed to be a family, why the hell are you bad mouthing another company? Especially a company who clearly is not lacking in the funds department. I'm sorry, whats the last thing you have done for your soldiers other then a BATTALION ball? Oh that's right, NOTHING!! we have had all sorts of fun days, we had our own ball before the Battalion ball as well as have SEVERAL things planned for the upcoming months for the families of our company AS WELL as a Haunted House put on BY HHC for the ENTIRE POST!!! Yea, lets talk shit about us shall we!!
Well, with all the fuss, we now are getting rolling. Neysa is looking for places for the FRG meetings that allow kids and I am brainstorming places for her as well as ideas for things we can do. So far so good. We are going to start a website for the company that people can join to get information as well as make a fundraising quilt to post ideas on, thinking about making newcomers packets to give to in-processing soldiers for their spouses, and maybe a little gift for it as well as some other things.
Im going to be taking some classes to get certified for secretary for the FRG and some other things. Part of it I can do online but I have to register on post once I do. YIPPEEE go me!!! hahaha I'm getting all involved and such!!
Kids are good, Miss A started kindergarten last week!! How time flies. She is loving it and having fun being with kids her own age. She goes all day long and even is taking a nap during nap time!!!! They start so early she is exhausted by the time lunch comes around. Mr. K is getting sooooo big!! He is walking all around everything, has even started walking along the walls! Still not to sure about the whole standing on his own though. He lets go and will stand but he's to easily distracted and falls haha. My little ADD baby! He goes next week for his follow up blood work since his blood count is going in the opposite direction they want it to go. I've started giving him alot of juice with Vit C hoping it will help him absorb his iron supplement. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's growing at an amazing rate and doesn't show any effect, just gotta figure out whats going on. All my lab work came back NORMAL!!! No more worries that I'm dying hahahaha. L graduates next week and I'm super excited. Oh how I have missed my hubby!
So anyone remotely involved in the military knows that there is bound to be drama! Well, the unit here has been pretty drama free, or at least this company, since we have been here. Well, all that changed with the start of the FRG discussion in my cafe mom group. So I had asked what unit everyone was associated with and it turned into a lot of girls no knowing who the FRG leader for HHC was (my hubby's company). Well guess what, I'm friends with the Co-Leader. We don't have an active FRG (yet we have the most fundraisers and money out of the whole unit cause we have a kick ass 1 sgt!!) so I tell them that we have had issues getting the email list and to email me their information. Well evidently someone doesn't know how to read. So somebody body drama llama privates wife goes and complains to the 1sgt that no one knows the and she is mad. Well all the guys get in trouble for something that wasn't their fault. Not to mention, some stuck up biotch co-leader in B co, who for this purpose we will call SB and who ironically would have it was my co-leader in Alaska, starts bad mouthing our company at the Coffee for the leaders and co-leaders!! The company commander had sent his fiance to this meeting cause after all, she will be the FRG leader once they get married and needs to learn the ropes. She speaks up to defend the company and explain the situation and why we are having issues and wouldn't you know big mouth SB turns around and says all stuck up, "Excuse me, we haven't met (knowing full well who she is) whats your last name? Oh that's right, you aren't a spouse and have no business at this meeting"!!!!! Can you believe that? She wouldn't have that position as co-leader if it weren't for her husband!! Also, we are in the same unit, we are supposed to be a family, why the hell are you bad mouthing another company? Especially a company who clearly is not lacking in the funds department. I'm sorry, whats the last thing you have done for your soldiers other then a BATTALION ball? Oh that's right, NOTHING!! we have had all sorts of fun days, we had our own ball before the Battalion ball as well as have SEVERAL things planned for the upcoming months for the families of our company AS WELL as a Haunted House put on BY HHC for the ENTIRE POST!!! Yea, lets talk shit about us shall we!!
Well, with all the fuss, we now are getting rolling. Neysa is looking for places for the FRG meetings that allow kids and I am brainstorming places for her as well as ideas for things we can do. So far so good. We are going to start a website for the company that people can join to get information as well as make a fundraising quilt to post ideas on, thinking about making newcomers packets to give to in-processing soldiers for their spouses, and maybe a little gift for it as well as some other things.
Im going to be taking some classes to get certified for secretary for the FRG and some other things. Part of it I can do online but I have to register on post once I do. YIPPEEE go me!!! hahaha I'm getting all involved and such!!
Kids are good, Miss A started kindergarten last week!! How time flies. She is loving it and having fun being with kids her own age. She goes all day long and even is taking a nap during nap time!!!! They start so early she is exhausted by the time lunch comes around. Mr. K is getting sooooo big!! He is walking all around everything, has even started walking along the walls! Still not to sure about the whole standing on his own though. He lets go and will stand but he's to easily distracted and falls haha. My little ADD baby! He goes next week for his follow up blood work since his blood count is going in the opposite direction they want it to go. I've started giving him alot of juice with Vit C hoping it will help him absorb his iron supplement. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's growing at an amazing rate and doesn't show any effect, just gotta figure out whats going on. All my lab work came back NORMAL!!! No more worries that I'm dying hahahaha. L graduates next week and I'm super excited. Oh how I have missed my hubby!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Was it the right decision?
So it's been awhile. K had his 6 month check-up last month. Went ok for the most part, until.... he had to get his blood drawn for a hemeglben check to check on his anemia. Lets just say not where the Dr wanted them to be, they dropped so he put him back on the iron which I, for the life of me can not get him to take. He chipmonks it and then spits it out. I have to take him back in September for another level check. We'll see how that goes.
I often wonder if we made the right decision so many months ago in opting out of having a transfusion. Would we still be having these issues of him being anemic like he is? There is always the threat of him needing a transfusion as long as his numbers are as low as they are, but what if we would have done it then? I feel so bad having to take him month after month getting pricked and having his blood taken from his little body. They still don't know why he is like this, Im feeling as though they never will. I know I shouldn't think like this because other than that, he is healthy, his heart murmor is gone and he is growing like crazy. He has no developemental issues from his bili being as high as it was for so long, infact, he's doing things ahead of when he should.
Moving on, it's too depressing. A's hernia surgery went good. Shes now got a flat belly button as opposed to it sticking out. They put 2 permanent sutures in. The hole was a little bigger than he thought. She was sore for the first day and a half and then.... I couldn't keep her still. I had to take her to the ER though to have the gauze taken off. There was so much glue that it glues the gauze to her incision. I tried forever to get it off, soaking it, putting a wet cloth on it, and finally took her there and the lady had it off in like 5 min!!!
My knee surgery went well, Still stuck in that stupid brace until the middle of August but other than that, doing ok. I had 4 weeks no weight/walking with sucked cause L left for Ranger school a week after I had it done. Taking care of a 6-7 month old is not so easy when you can't walk. A has been such a BIG help.
She starts school on the 20th and i am soooo SAD!! My baby is 5!! Where did the time go that she's already in kindergarden? K is all over the place and is standing!!! He pulls himself up on everything. He is even getting brave enough to let go and he throws his head back and laughs! My 8 month old is a riot. He yells at the top of his lungs too. I just wish he would sleep through the night!
I often wonder if we made the right decision so many months ago in opting out of having a transfusion. Would we still be having these issues of him being anemic like he is? There is always the threat of him needing a transfusion as long as his numbers are as low as they are, but what if we would have done it then? I feel so bad having to take him month after month getting pricked and having his blood taken from his little body. They still don't know why he is like this, Im feeling as though they never will. I know I shouldn't think like this because other than that, he is healthy, his heart murmor is gone and he is growing like crazy. He has no developemental issues from his bili being as high as it was for so long, infact, he's doing things ahead of when he should.
Moving on, it's too depressing. A's hernia surgery went good. Shes now got a flat belly button as opposed to it sticking out. They put 2 permanent sutures in. The hole was a little bigger than he thought. She was sore for the first day and a half and then.... I couldn't keep her still. I had to take her to the ER though to have the gauze taken off. There was so much glue that it glues the gauze to her incision. I tried forever to get it off, soaking it, putting a wet cloth on it, and finally took her there and the lady had it off in like 5 min!!!
My knee surgery went well, Still stuck in that stupid brace until the middle of August but other than that, doing ok. I had 4 weeks no weight/walking with sucked cause L left for Ranger school a week after I had it done. Taking care of a 6-7 month old is not so easy when you can't walk. A has been such a BIG help.
She starts school on the 20th and i am soooo SAD!! My baby is 5!! Where did the time go that she's already in kindergarden? K is all over the place and is standing!!! He pulls himself up on everything. He is even getting brave enough to let go and he throws his head back and laughs! My 8 month old is a riot. He yells at the top of his lungs too. I just wish he would sleep through the night!
Monday, June 29, 2009
My three loves
This picture of Wes and Ashe playing princesses I love. This was from Christmas. This picture and the one below I blew up to 8x10's and put them in matter frames and gave them to him for Fathers Day as well as put them in a 3 picture frame for 4x6 pictures with one of all three of them together in the center.
This is my favorite picture of them two of them. Any other picture I have of them looking at one another he some how hs ruined it.
Not quite myself
I've been in a weird place lately and I'm not sure why. Emotionally, I'm a HUGE wicked mess. I don't know if it's because L is gone or if it's something else. I'm over the mood spectrum. I cried today while watching Maternity Ward when the sister got to cut her littlebrothers cord. I also cried when Wes and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Whats that all about? Yeah it was sad that he died but holy crap, I have NEVER cried at stuff like that. Craziness I tell you.
I go back to the orthopedist tomorrow so I should know more about what they did to me. Hopefully I get these stitches out, I'm tired of having to either wear shorts, roll up my pant leg or wear the stupid ace bandage to keep the stitches from catching on my pants and pulling. Hopefully he'll give me the good news and say "you may now officially walk". Im not supposed to be putting weight on it but thats easier said than done when you have an almost 7 month old. But shhh I wont tell him that hahaha.
I've been hngin out with E alot. Shes been my savior the last few days. She even came over and helped me clean. I don't think she understands how much that means to me. The only thing i have now is our bedroom and the normal everyday things. I finally caught up on all the laundry and the dishes now that L is gone. It will be nice to maybe do a load of dishes once every couple of days and laundry every once and awhile. I do miss his messes though. As much as I hate constantly picking up dirty clothes and dishes from him, finding socks and boots all over my livingroom, I really miss it when those things aren't there.
I always seem to take for granted how much having him here means to me. I tend to complain a lot about the house always being dirty with his stuff or how he never picks up his clothes from the bathroom, leaves the toliet seat up or uses an abundance of towels, but I miss all those things when he is gone. I find myself leaving things on the floor just to make me try and miss him less. Sometimes I find myself questioning why I love this man so much and times like now are when I realize why I do haha. Sad that I can only remember the reasons when he's gone but, at least I know why I do.
I go back to the orthopedist tomorrow so I should know more about what they did to me. Hopefully I get these stitches out, I'm tired of having to either wear shorts, roll up my pant leg or wear the stupid ace bandage to keep the stitches from catching on my pants and pulling. Hopefully he'll give me the good news and say "you may now officially walk". Im not supposed to be putting weight on it but thats easier said than done when you have an almost 7 month old. But shhh I wont tell him that hahaha.
I've been hngin out with E alot. Shes been my savior the last few days. She even came over and helped me clean. I don't think she understands how much that means to me. The only thing i have now is our bedroom and the normal everyday things. I finally caught up on all the laundry and the dishes now that L is gone. It will be nice to maybe do a load of dishes once every couple of days and laundry every once and awhile. I do miss his messes though. As much as I hate constantly picking up dirty clothes and dishes from him, finding socks and boots all over my livingroom, I really miss it when those things aren't there.
I always seem to take for granted how much having him here means to me. I tend to complain a lot about the house always being dirty with his stuff or how he never picks up his clothes from the bathroom, leaves the toliet seat up or uses an abundance of towels, but I miss all those things when he is gone. I find myself leaving things on the floor just to make me try and miss him less. Sometimes I find myself questioning why I love this man so much and times like now are when I realize why I do haha. Sad that I can only remember the reasons when he's gone but, at least I know why I do.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Alone again.....
So L is gone... :( He left this morning. I miss him when he's gone but this time its more than normal because I don't know when I'll get to see him again and after Sunday I don't know when I'll hear from him again. Normally I wouldn't complain, seperation has been a big part of our relationship, I've gotten used to him being gone a lot, this time... its harder and I'm not sure if its due to not knowing when he'll be home, if its because I'm here alone with 2 kids or if its because I'm here alone with 2 kids and unable to walk due to my knee surgery. I have 3 more weeks and then I can start putting weight on it again (hopefully). I had my MCL repaired (I was told after the fact that thats one of the most painful and time consuming in the healing department out of all knee repairs.. gee thanks for the info after the fact) I start physical therapy hopefully sometime soon. I have a high rate of injuring it again before it is fully healed and for what I had done, it can take up to 6 months or longer. I also had the back of my knee cap scraped (yummy right?) and if I'm feeling correctly, it feels like i had some of it taken out.
I get side tracked easily. Anyways, today wasn't so bad although it was the first day. Went to Walmart with E and rode around in the gimp cart hahaha. Had K strapped to me in the snuggli facing forward. He got a kick out of me letting him grab the handles and making us go... he only managed to take us backwards. I'm hoping with L gone I can catch up on my school work and get ahead. Night time is when I normally do my work but because he's had so much time off to get ready to go he's been home a lot at night and stopped me from reading. I have 2 midterms to take. I'm taking one tonight (my history one isnt proctored and Im like 4 chapters behind) and I go and take my Comp one tomorrow morning. Wish me luck cause I need it.
K is getting soooo big, he is crawling all over the place. He's got 2 teeth now and more to come. Im still trying to wean him but he's at that stage where they develope seperation anxiety and he's having a hard time with it, especially when he's tired. He refuses to take the bottle, it has to be the boob or he is screaming his head off until his little face is purple and I have to give in to keep him from getting sick.
Miss A is 5!!! She turned 5 on Fathers Day. We had he party on Saturday and she had a blast. She got lots of toys. I can't believe how big she is getting. She'll be starting Kindergarden this fall and it amazes me how smart she is. She can say her ABC's, recognize letters and some words, count to 30 (she misses some numbers) and is awesome and putting things in order. She can write some letters and numbers but for the most part just gets frustrated. As we speak she pointing out letters and numbers and some words from which I am typing. We are starting to not be able to spell out words to avoid her overhearing them because she knows what they mean. We got her one of those V-smile V-motion thingies and she loves it, she's so good at some of the games. i was suprised and how fast she picked it up, she has never played a video game in her life.
Have I mentioned how much I hate it here? We have had a HUGE ant problem the last week. I went today and got some Home Defense spray because L's ant feeder things just weren't cutting it, they weren't reducing crap. So far so good, i just need to sweep up the little ant carcuses and other bugs that died in the battle already. I'm shocked at how fast it worked. Should have seen me hobbling around on my crutches spraying where I was able to because of my limited movement and because the kids were still awake. Im gonna see if E wil help me move some furniture tomorrow to get behind the couches and stuf before we go to dinner tomorrow.
I wish the pizza would hurry up and get here, Im starving and want my damn bread sticks!!
I get side tracked easily. Anyways, today wasn't so bad although it was the first day. Went to Walmart with E and rode around in the gimp cart hahaha. Had K strapped to me in the snuggli facing forward. He got a kick out of me letting him grab the handles and making us go... he only managed to take us backwards. I'm hoping with L gone I can catch up on my school work and get ahead. Night time is when I normally do my work but because he's had so much time off to get ready to go he's been home a lot at night and stopped me from reading. I have 2 midterms to take. I'm taking one tonight (my history one isnt proctored and Im like 4 chapters behind) and I go and take my Comp one tomorrow morning. Wish me luck cause I need it.
K is getting soooo big, he is crawling all over the place. He's got 2 teeth now and more to come. Im still trying to wean him but he's at that stage where they develope seperation anxiety and he's having a hard time with it, especially when he's tired. He refuses to take the bottle, it has to be the boob or he is screaming his head off until his little face is purple and I have to give in to keep him from getting sick.
Miss A is 5!!! She turned 5 on Fathers Day. We had he party on Saturday and she had a blast. She got lots of toys. I can't believe how big she is getting. She'll be starting Kindergarden this fall and it amazes me how smart she is. She can say her ABC's, recognize letters and some words, count to 30 (she misses some numbers) and is awesome and putting things in order. She can write some letters and numbers but for the most part just gets frustrated. As we speak she pointing out letters and numbers and some words from which I am typing. We are starting to not be able to spell out words to avoid her overhearing them because she knows what they mean. We got her one of those V-smile V-motion thingies and she loves it, she's so good at some of the games. i was suprised and how fast she picked it up, she has never played a video game in her life.
Have I mentioned how much I hate it here? We have had a HUGE ant problem the last week. I went today and got some Home Defense spray because L's ant feeder things just weren't cutting it, they weren't reducing crap. So far so good, i just need to sweep up the little ant carcuses and other bugs that died in the battle already. I'm shocked at how fast it worked. Should have seen me hobbling around on my crutches spraying where I was able to because of my limited movement and because the kids were still awake. Im gonna see if E wil help me move some furniture tomorrow to get behind the couches and stuf before we go to dinner tomorrow.
I wish the pizza would hurry up and get here, Im starving and want my damn bread sticks!!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Life says it all
So I have been MIA lately. We have been really busy with drs appts, school and all sorts of stuff. Wes had some leave time (FINALLY!!). He's still on leave now but busy with other stuff. We went to Va to let ever one see Mr. K. That went ok except for the trip down there. Baby had such a bad virus. He was all snotty and sick it basically took us 6 hours to get 3 hours into our trip. We barely had made it into Mississippi before we had to stop for the night because it was close to midnight and we were both drained. (Keep in mind we live about 4.5 hours from Miss. and we left at 230 pm. We finally got to Va the next day at like 11 pm. I had to sit in the back to keep K happy the rest of the trip. Everyone oogled over him and loved on him. I was never so ready to leave and get back home!! The trip back went so much better! I didnt have to sit in the back with him until we were halfway through Miss and we made it home at 1230 am. (we left at 730 am) I am proud to say that Mr. K now has a tooth!!! I noticed it on Friday when we were in Tenn stopped at a rest stop!! His other tooth is coming in right next to it. Ican feel it and see the tip if it under the skin so any day now.
Miss A goes in on Monday for her hernia repair. Im kind of nervous about that but they told me its a pretty straight forward procedure. They just make a small incision, push ther hernia back under the muscle, close the opening with a suture and shes done, takes about 30 min. He said we should be in and out within a 6 hour window. Jenn is being awsome and watching K for me so that I dont have to put him in daycare since the most likely wont be open by the time we need to be there and so that I don't go over the time I need to pick him up in the likely event it gets pushed back or takes longer for some reason. (military hospitals are good for that)
My composition class is killing me! So much work due at one time!! (8 exercises, a 750 word discriptive essay, 3 discussion posts and ALOT of reading!!!) I can do all of this stuff in my writing without thinking about it but having to sit down and point it out and correct it, not so easy. Dangling modifiers are killing me for some reason. Anyone good at those that could explain it to me???
PT is going ok. I found out that I am FINALLY allergic to a medicine lol. Something so weird I would never think about it. Its a topical cream that is like the pill form that I am supposed to be taking. I also have a script for the gel for of it. I haven't gotten it because I can't find anywhere around here that carries it but now that I know I can't use it no sense in tryin to find it. After about 5 min my leg starting burning and I asked if that was normal and they told me yea it was just the current that was doing that. Well 15 min into it and with only 4 more to go I told the guy that it felt like I had been touched with a hot pan or burned myself on the oven so he took it off and OMG my leg was bright red, sore, irritated and hot to the touch. It was swollen and puffy so they quickly put and ice pack on it. Right now it feels like I have 1000 needles stabbing me. I go on the 16th for my MRI results (about time already!!!) so we shall see what they say. The PT guy is reccommending that I have the surgery because of my pain now being isolated. Also because I have a tingling sensation when they move around my knee cap, it makes me knee kinda jump.
Thats it in this crazy life... Oh, K now weighs 17 lbs!! We found this out when we had to take him to the er in Va. I am on the hunt for a new carset for him (one of the convertable ones) since hes about 3 lbs away from the limit on his. Plus hes getting too heavy for me to carry in the one he has now so it just ends up staying in the car all the time now.
Miss A goes in on Monday for her hernia repair. Im kind of nervous about that but they told me its a pretty straight forward procedure. They just make a small incision, push ther hernia back under the muscle, close the opening with a suture and shes done, takes about 30 min. He said we should be in and out within a 6 hour window. Jenn is being awsome and watching K for me so that I dont have to put him in daycare since the most likely wont be open by the time we need to be there and so that I don't go over the time I need to pick him up in the likely event it gets pushed back or takes longer for some reason. (military hospitals are good for that)
My composition class is killing me! So much work due at one time!! (8 exercises, a 750 word discriptive essay, 3 discussion posts and ALOT of reading!!!) I can do all of this stuff in my writing without thinking about it but having to sit down and point it out and correct it, not so easy. Dangling modifiers are killing me for some reason. Anyone good at those that could explain it to me???
PT is going ok. I found out that I am FINALLY allergic to a medicine lol. Something so weird I would never think about it. Its a topical cream that is like the pill form that I am supposed to be taking. I also have a script for the gel for of it. I haven't gotten it because I can't find anywhere around here that carries it but now that I know I can't use it no sense in tryin to find it. After about 5 min my leg starting burning and I asked if that was normal and they told me yea it was just the current that was doing that. Well 15 min into it and with only 4 more to go I told the guy that it felt like I had been touched with a hot pan or burned myself on the oven so he took it off and OMG my leg was bright red, sore, irritated and hot to the touch. It was swollen and puffy so they quickly put and ice pack on it. Right now it feels like I have 1000 needles stabbing me. I go on the 16th for my MRI results (about time already!!!) so we shall see what they say. The PT guy is reccommending that I have the surgery because of my pain now being isolated. Also because I have a tingling sensation when they move around my knee cap, it makes me knee kinda jump.
Thats it in this crazy life... Oh, K now weighs 17 lbs!! We found this out when we had to take him to the er in Va. I am on the hunt for a new carset for him (one of the convertable ones) since hes about 3 lbs away from the limit on his. Plus hes getting too heavy for me to carry in the one he has now so it just ends up staying in the car all the time now.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Why are the shortest seperations the hardest?
Today K had an appt to figure out why hes still spitting up like he is. It has gotten sooo bad that he even spits up while he eats. The did an ultrasoud to rule out Pyloric Stenosis and although they told me it came back normal, i don't have much faith in that because they couldn't get a good picture for measurments. The angle always showed the opening flat on the bottom instead of a full circle. I was kinda ticked at the ultra sound tech when she kept going, its not round but oh well it will do. I felt like yelling at her and being like, " LOOK YOU LAZY PEICE OF CRAP! THIS IS MY KID WE ARE DEALING WITH AND THIS IS A SERIOUS CONDITION THAT REQUIRES SURGERY TO FIX AND MAKE HIM BETTER, DONT TELL ME, "OH WELL IT WILL DO!" They also did an x-ray to check the anatomy of his insides just to make sure it all looked good. Didn't have the results of that before we left so I don't know.
They changed him from zantac to previced which is a proton pump inhibator. Its supposed to work better than the zantac so we will see. My poor little man is wore out from spitting up so much and he hasn't been sleeping well he passed out at 7 which is not like him at all. I'm really hoping that the previced works because I am at my witts end. He hasn't eaten but maybe 3 times today and normally he eats about 10 times a day. He's also only eaten about 5-10 min at a time instead of his normal 30-40 min. I changed his diaper at 600 and just checked him and he's still dry so we are on 5 hours of not peeing. I may have to take him to the er.
These last 10 days have been extremely hard and I don't know why. Normally I am fine when L is gone to the field or out on rotation or something else, but, these last 10 days have been really hard. I miss him WAY more than normal. It's hard to explain. I think the only way to sum it up is that I feel like I did while he was deployed but 10x more. I haven't slept lately so I think that that plays a HUGE part in it. He made me feel loads better yesterday when he called me to tell me he missed me. Made me feel good for about 3 hours but then it made me miss him even more. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like Im gonna break down and cry at any moment. I think I just need something familiar. I need to go home to see everyone I think is my problem. December can't come fast enough thats for sure. If I could afford it I would fly home while he's in R. School but if we are going home for Christmas, then its not possible, not unless we suddenly get approved for our dividends between now and then.
I sat outside for a bit tonight with Hunny and realized just how boring my life is. Not that I dont love having my babies, and they keep me plenty busy, but I have no me time. No time to go do anything or to spend time with just my husband.. Mainly cause he's always at work but still, the moments I do get with him are interupted by screaming kids in the middle of the night. I don't go anywhere, also again because my husband is never here and I don't feel like driving 45 min to an hour to get there. I can't wait to leave this crap hole.
They changed him from zantac to previced which is a proton pump inhibator. Its supposed to work better than the zantac so we will see. My poor little man is wore out from spitting up so much and he hasn't been sleeping well he passed out at 7 which is not like him at all. I'm really hoping that the previced works because I am at my witts end. He hasn't eaten but maybe 3 times today and normally he eats about 10 times a day. He's also only eaten about 5-10 min at a time instead of his normal 30-40 min. I changed his diaper at 600 and just checked him and he's still dry so we are on 5 hours of not peeing. I may have to take him to the er.
These last 10 days have been extremely hard and I don't know why. Normally I am fine when L is gone to the field or out on rotation or something else, but, these last 10 days have been really hard. I miss him WAY more than normal. It's hard to explain. I think the only way to sum it up is that I feel like I did while he was deployed but 10x more. I haven't slept lately so I think that that plays a HUGE part in it. He made me feel loads better yesterday when he called me to tell me he missed me. Made me feel good for about 3 hours but then it made me miss him even more. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like Im gonna break down and cry at any moment. I think I just need something familiar. I need to go home to see everyone I think is my problem. December can't come fast enough thats for sure. If I could afford it I would fly home while he's in R. School but if we are going home for Christmas, then its not possible, not unless we suddenly get approved for our dividends between now and then.
I sat outside for a bit tonight with Hunny and realized just how boring my life is. Not that I dont love having my babies, and they keep me plenty busy, but I have no me time. No time to go do anything or to spend time with just my husband.. Mainly cause he's always at work but still, the moments I do get with him are interupted by screaming kids in the middle of the night. I don't go anywhere, also again because my husband is never here and I don't feel like driving 45 min to an hour to get there. I can't wait to leave this crap hole.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Faith?
When was the last time you prayed? When I mean prayed, I mean really truely prayed. I know that we all may talk to God through out our day and have little conversations asking for help, but when was the last time you actually got down on your knees and truely prayed? I have never really been a religous person nor have I ever truely got down and prayed but last night, I did. Some of you know that I have been following a blog about Sweet Baby Kayleigh was was born at 28 weeks weighing 1 lbs. Because she was growing 6 weeks behind she was basically at the stage of a 21 weeker. Acoording to her drs she was never expected to make it through the pregnancy due to lack of amniotic fkuid let alone survive her first night in this world. Kayleigh has proven time and time again that prayer can solve anything and this little girls will and determination has helped her to come back from death more than once. She became the smallest person to have open heart surgery at only 3 lbs. She has had eye surgery, underwent a tracheostomy, countless infections that almost claimed her life as well as her most recent surgery to peform a Nissen surgery (take the stomach up to prevent asperations), a new central line, hernia repair and a g-tube proceedure. After this most recent surgery, Kayleigh was on the up and up and was recovering well until she was in so much pain they had to heavily sedate her. After a day or so they weened her off and she was fine. Only problem is, shes not waking up. They performed a test and said that she is brain dead. There are a lot of factors that could have caused this reading, barbituates which she had recieved that morning can cause a flat line. While I have neve rmet the Freemans personally, they have allowed so many to be involved Kayleighs story and life, as short as it may be and when you have communicated with someone for almost a year, you feel that they are a part of your life. The Freemans have strugled so much with the housing market crashing (they are realators), having one of their vehicles being reposessed because they took a hard hit to their income, their house in forclosure and having to pay almost a grand a month in insurance for Kayleigh. While many businesses and great people have helped them by donating money and toys at Christmas time for their other two children, they have been through a lot and for Kayleigh to pass, it just seems to not be fair. Kayleigh has seemed to brought so many people together and renewed so many people's faith, including my own in the Lord Last night while I was reading Adams post, I couldn't help but cry and feel pain. This little girl has been through so much in her short life that it just doesn't seem fair to have her come so far only to take her now. I was angry and wanted to know what type of God would do this to this family, to this poor little girl who has done nothin wrong. While I felt my faith slipping away, I remembered all that Lord has done for her and for all of us. All that he has blessed my family with and his purpose for Kayleigh on this Earth. Last night before i went to bed, I got down on my knees and prayed to God that he once again touch Kayleigh and help her overcome this one last obstical and to let her have more time with her family and the opportunity to grow old and experience all that life has to offer. After I prayed, I got up, went in and kissed Ashelynn and then grabbed my sweet baby boy. I layed in bed with him and thank God that I had them in my life and fell asleep cuddling with him. I didn't sleep very well last night because I had so much going through my mind. I realized though with everything that has gone through my head that I seem to take a lot for granted. I have these two perfect little babies, that who although the begining of their lives wasn't easy, none the less they are here with me. There are those who will never get to see their children grow up, never get to see them smile again or feel their arms wrapped around them giving them hugs as well as kisses. I thank God that He blessed me with my beautiful children. Please pray for baby Kayleigh even though you may not know her or her story very well, no parent should be without their children, especially when they have struggled to keep them in this world and fought all the odds. www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Bubbles and they are all mine....
I am so tired of this mundane schedule... its always the same. Wake up, feed the kids, get dressed, play with A, keep K entertained, lunch, play, dinner, bed.... Somewhere in there my husband is missing... Actually, he's been missing for the last year. Coming here was supposed to be a break from deployments and work work work work work.... There has been no break. He's had maybe 3 days off in the last 4 going on 5 months. Even during his block leave, RIGHT AFTER his son was born prematurely and in the hospital facing blood transfusions, he still had to go work to deal with all the imature idiots that stayed back here instead of going home.
He gets block leave starting May 22 thru June 7th and I would love to say that we are locking our doors, closing out blinds and turning our phones off to have some much needed quality family time and hubby wifey time when the kids go to sleep but.... thats too much of a perfect dream. We are going to Va to visit his family so that they can meet K and see him as a baby. He's the first born Grandchild on L's side and the first great grand baby on his side. I dont see why they cant come here. Granted, I know that his grandmother cant so Im not complaining about making the trip to see her, but everyone else? (I'll let Jenny slide haha shes too cool not to want to see) I'm sure once we get back it will be work work work and then off to R. School in Junly where hopefully he will graduate before his son turns one and we head to Alaska for Christmas.
K has an appt on the 24th because he is spitting up something aweful. The zantac isnt helping him anymore and he is now spitting up almost everything right after he gets done eating. When he spits up like 30 min after he eats, its not really spit up, its vomit and its chunky and mucosy and smells horrible. It also has a greenish tint to it now so Im hoping its an easy fix. At first I thought he has the same milk protien allergy that A has, but.... to start developing it 4 months after birth??? Now I don't know what to think.
He gets block leave starting May 22 thru June 7th and I would love to say that we are locking our doors, closing out blinds and turning our phones off to have some much needed quality family time and hubby wifey time when the kids go to sleep but.... thats too much of a perfect dream. We are going to Va to visit his family so that they can meet K and see him as a baby. He's the first born Grandchild on L's side and the first great grand baby on his side. I dont see why they cant come here. Granted, I know that his grandmother cant so Im not complaining about making the trip to see her, but everyone else? (I'll let Jenny slide haha shes too cool not to want to see) I'm sure once we get back it will be work work work and then off to R. School in Junly where hopefully he will graduate before his son turns one and we head to Alaska for Christmas.
K has an appt on the 24th because he is spitting up something aweful. The zantac isnt helping him anymore and he is now spitting up almost everything right after he gets done eating. When he spits up like 30 min after he eats, its not really spit up, its vomit and its chunky and mucosy and smells horrible. It also has a greenish tint to it now so Im hoping its an easy fix. At first I thought he has the same milk protien allergy that A has, but.... to start developing it 4 months after birth??? Now I don't know what to think.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Been awhile
So its been awhile since I've been here. A lot has happened. Some good, some bad and some the same.
My liver panels are still screwed up but because I am asymptomatic the reccomendation is to wait 6 months and come back for more testing and if still elevated to do an ultrasound. I go back in August for more blood work so I'm hoping that it turns out good.
I also had my 6 week post partum. Yeah I know, hes 4 months now but hey its been awhile. He said everything looks alright. My incision healed nicely. We did talk about me having more babies. Needless to say with the luck I have had the last 2 years, K is nothing short of a miracle. From the scarring on my cervix, to me having endometriosis (still not sure i spell that right) and now newly know scarring on my right ovary from the cysts I had before A, its no wonder i could never stay pregnant. He did say that my last LEEP is prolly what helped me the most in keeping my cervix closed and long for 36 weeks. He was really thinking that I was gonna go early again like I did with A because when they did the cervical u/s at 17 weeks and then rechecked me at 26 weeks my cervix was in a dangerous area but that band of scar tissue held fast until the day I had him.
Since L and I aren't entirely sure we are done trying, he reccomended that I stay on birth control for a straight 6 months to keep my regulated and to help with the endo. He told me it was important not to miss a day so we decided the patch was best for me. He said that after 6 months if we decided that yes we want to, then to stop, wait a month and after a month, start temping and charting. He wants me to wait at least 3 months after I stop the BC before we try. So I have 3 months before I can stop the BC if I want and 6 months before we can try. It kinda works out perfect cause L goes to r school in May-june and will be gone til July-August.
I figure by December we should be good if we want to start. I'm not holding my breath though cause the whole point of staying on birth control was to prevent cysts on my ovaries and to regulate me (which is what prevents the cysts so i just repeated myself i guess.) Well its helped to regulate me but dun dun dun.. I have a cyst. It started out achey and got progressively worse Friday to where I was in tears. I feel a lot better today so im guessing it burst at the height of the pain.
Im gonna call and make an appt tomorrow to get seen. Im also coming up on the time where i need to go back for another pap screening to make sure Im still in remission. He told me I could wait a year but Im not messing around. I've been dealing with this crap since A was 6 weeks old. Hearing a dr tell you that you have cancer isn't something I ever want to hear again. Also having them cut out HUGE sections of the part of your body that is what makes staying pregnant possible, yeah no thanks, I'd like to keep what little i have left.
My breastfeeding days are coming to an end sadly and I dont know how to stop the drying process. With A I never got to do it longer than 7 weeks from all the drugs I was on. Granted I never fully dried up for that reason as well and was able to at least night and comfort feed her when I stopped taking the drugs, but I have enjoyed being able to feed K. Even though I had a long bought with thrush on my nipples and mastitis as well as a nipple infection, its still been enjoyable.
I've just come to the realization that I don't know if I could deal with anymore heartache associated with TTC. All the ups and then the disappointments. The last one was a killer since it happened right after he left. That and the pain and bleeding. It was so much worse then going through actual labor. I think that one stung more because I realized that that was it for a year. I held on to hope for R&R but I had to be realilistic. K was nothing more than a miracle and while he has had and still has his issues, they are slowly resolving and he amazes me more and more everyday. I am truely thankful for what I have and that I was allowed the opportunity to be his mother.
I think back to all that I have lost and wonder what they would have been like. Would they have been as smart and amazing as this little boy is? Would they have his eyes and his smile? How different would each of their personalities be from his? While I think about all of this, in that sadness I find light in knowing that maybe a peice of all of them is in him and thats what makes him so special and smart.
My liver panels are still screwed up but because I am asymptomatic the reccomendation is to wait 6 months and come back for more testing and if still elevated to do an ultrasound. I go back in August for more blood work so I'm hoping that it turns out good.
I also had my 6 week post partum. Yeah I know, hes 4 months now but hey its been awhile. He said everything looks alright. My incision healed nicely. We did talk about me having more babies. Needless to say with the luck I have had the last 2 years, K is nothing short of a miracle. From the scarring on my cervix, to me having endometriosis (still not sure i spell that right) and now newly know scarring on my right ovary from the cysts I had before A, its no wonder i could never stay pregnant. He did say that my last LEEP is prolly what helped me the most in keeping my cervix closed and long for 36 weeks. He was really thinking that I was gonna go early again like I did with A because when they did the cervical u/s at 17 weeks and then rechecked me at 26 weeks my cervix was in a dangerous area but that band of scar tissue held fast until the day I had him.
Since L and I aren't entirely sure we are done trying, he reccomended that I stay on birth control for a straight 6 months to keep my regulated and to help with the endo. He told me it was important not to miss a day so we decided the patch was best for me. He said that after 6 months if we decided that yes we want to, then to stop, wait a month and after a month, start temping and charting. He wants me to wait at least 3 months after I stop the BC before we try. So I have 3 months before I can stop the BC if I want and 6 months before we can try. It kinda works out perfect cause L goes to r school in May-june and will be gone til July-August.
I figure by December we should be good if we want to start. I'm not holding my breath though cause the whole point of staying on birth control was to prevent cysts on my ovaries and to regulate me (which is what prevents the cysts so i just repeated myself i guess.) Well its helped to regulate me but dun dun dun.. I have a cyst. It started out achey and got progressively worse Friday to where I was in tears. I feel a lot better today so im guessing it burst at the height of the pain.
Im gonna call and make an appt tomorrow to get seen. Im also coming up on the time where i need to go back for another pap screening to make sure Im still in remission. He told me I could wait a year but Im not messing around. I've been dealing with this crap since A was 6 weeks old. Hearing a dr tell you that you have cancer isn't something I ever want to hear again. Also having them cut out HUGE sections of the part of your body that is what makes staying pregnant possible, yeah no thanks, I'd like to keep what little i have left.
My breastfeeding days are coming to an end sadly and I dont know how to stop the drying process. With A I never got to do it longer than 7 weeks from all the drugs I was on. Granted I never fully dried up for that reason as well and was able to at least night and comfort feed her when I stopped taking the drugs, but I have enjoyed being able to feed K. Even though I had a long bought with thrush on my nipples and mastitis as well as a nipple infection, its still been enjoyable.
I've just come to the realization that I don't know if I could deal with anymore heartache associated with TTC. All the ups and then the disappointments. The last one was a killer since it happened right after he left. That and the pain and bleeding. It was so much worse then going through actual labor. I think that one stung more because I realized that that was it for a year. I held on to hope for R&R but I had to be realilistic. K was nothing more than a miracle and while he has had and still has his issues, they are slowly resolving and he amazes me more and more everyday. I am truely thankful for what I have and that I was allowed the opportunity to be his mother.
I think back to all that I have lost and wonder what they would have been like. Would they have been as smart and amazing as this little boy is? Would they have his eyes and his smile? How different would each of their personalities be from his? While I think about all of this, in that sadness I find light in knowing that maybe a peice of all of them is in him and thats what makes him so special and smart.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
yeah..
So after wasting my time in the er just for the dr to come in and go "Why did you come here? We cant help you why didnt you make an appt?" I am convinced that the hospital here is retarded. I looked at the dr and went "this is an er right? A place to come for emergencies when you cant get to a dr?" "My ass is bleeding! I hardly think that I can wait til tomorrow to be told just to go to the er to find out what is going on with me!" Well the only thing he did was draw my blood for some tests and did a rectal. He told me that the test to see if there was blood present was going to be negative. Yeah right ass, it was positive. I was pissed when he told me that he put in a referal for me and it would take 3-5 days for them to call me and make me an appt. I told him no, I wasnt leaving without knowing what was wrong with me because it wasn't a hemmerhoid that was causing my bleeding and I dont care that the lab work shows that Im not losing a lot of blood. He left the room and came back 20 min later and told me I had an appt tomorrow.
Well I went to the appt and talked to the dr. He was kinda upset that he didnt try and find out or the fact that he even let me go home with the results that he was looking at on the screen regaurding my liver. I dont know what test it was but it came back high. He did an exam to make sure that I indeed didnt have a hemmerhiod and within the first 10 sec of looking, he had found what was wrong with me. I have a fissure. Its a tear in the lining of the anal canal and it extends out. Basically I havea rip in my butthole lol. He asked me some questions and it was determined that the days that Kaeleb was in the PICU that I couldn't take me colace did a lot of harm to my system because it made my stools really hard which is what caused the tear. He put me on something different to help me so that I heal because the colace wasnt helping. So far so good! Just after one day I was able to go to the bathroom with little pain and no blood in the toliet.
He said that the tear was enough to kinda turn my insides out. So, yay no hemmerhoids for me lol. He said that the dr basicaly wasted my time in having me come in and the only good from it was following up on my liver. He had me go down to have the labs redrawn just to make sure it wasnt a fluke. He called me at 630 to tell me it was still high and that I needed to be seen within 4 weeks to have it redrawn and to find out whats going on with me. He said that since he has nothing to compare it to, he doesn't know whether that number is normal for me or not so hes not taking any chances. Who knows whats going on with me. I have my 6 week checkup next week so Im gonna ask the dr if its possible from me having been preggo that thats what is causing the funny results.
Well I went to the appt and talked to the dr. He was kinda upset that he didnt try and find out or the fact that he even let me go home with the results that he was looking at on the screen regaurding my liver. I dont know what test it was but it came back high. He did an exam to make sure that I indeed didnt have a hemmerhiod and within the first 10 sec of looking, he had found what was wrong with me. I have a fissure. Its a tear in the lining of the anal canal and it extends out. Basically I havea rip in my butthole lol. He asked me some questions and it was determined that the days that Kaeleb was in the PICU that I couldn't take me colace did a lot of harm to my system because it made my stools really hard which is what caused the tear. He put me on something different to help me so that I heal because the colace wasnt helping. So far so good! Just after one day I was able to go to the bathroom with little pain and no blood in the toliet.
He said that the tear was enough to kinda turn my insides out. So, yay no hemmerhoids for me lol. He said that the dr basicaly wasted my time in having me come in and the only good from it was following up on my liver. He had me go down to have the labs redrawn just to make sure it wasnt a fluke. He called me at 630 to tell me it was still high and that I needed to be seen within 4 weeks to have it redrawn and to find out whats going on with me. He said that since he has nothing to compare it to, he doesn't know whether that number is normal for me or not so hes not taking any chances. Who knows whats going on with me. I have my 6 week checkup next week so Im gonna ask the dr if its possible from me having been preggo that thats what is causing the funny results.
Monday, January 12, 2009
kinda personal
ok so this is really embarrassing but its really serious. I have NEVER had a problem with hemmerhiods. Not when I was pregnant with Ashe, not after and not while I was pregnant with k. But.. for some DAMN reason, I have a freaking hemmerhoid now!! Its internal and its to the point that when i poop(tmi) that i have bloody stools and I feel like im pooping out my intestines. I go to the dr on the 21st so hopefully he can tell me whether they need to do something about it. I've been using prep-h for the last couple days and im getting to the point im gonna have to use the appicator and shove it up my butt. I dread having to poop and I have been using colace to help soften my stools but its not helping me at all. I know its because of my section that Im having such a hard time with my stool being really hard. I almost thought i was gonna have to go to the er today because there was sooo much blood.
On to better things... k went to the dr today and hes 9 lbs 13 oz. My little chunky monkey. His labs were good today. Still not great but better. he is now at 28 and 9.5. All his lab work has come back for everything they tested him for and it all came back normal. They still dont know why hes anemic. She said that they can test for all the big key factors but there are some small ones that they cant test for and one of them can be my immunities on my red cells attacked his even though we are both O- and RH-. Sometimes it just happens. It will take him awhile to grow out of it. As he gets older and his body matures, he'll kick it. He still has to be on iron. She was gonna up the does but decided not to cause hes having a problem with reflux. He goes back for his two month well baby check up (yeah 2 months can you believe that shit?) in 2 weeks. She said shes not gonna draw blood unless there is a need. We also go see the cardiologist on the 26th. He still has that murmor which she is convinced is from his anemia but because he is still breathing fast she wants to cover all areas just to make sure there isnt any other underlying problem.
On to better things... k went to the dr today and hes 9 lbs 13 oz. My little chunky monkey. His labs were good today. Still not great but better. he is now at 28 and 9.5. All his lab work has come back for everything they tested him for and it all came back normal. They still dont know why hes anemic. She said that they can test for all the big key factors but there are some small ones that they cant test for and one of them can be my immunities on my red cells attacked his even though we are both O- and RH-. Sometimes it just happens. It will take him awhile to grow out of it. As he gets older and his body matures, he'll kick it. He still has to be on iron. She was gonna up the does but decided not to cause hes having a problem with reflux. He goes back for his two month well baby check up (yeah 2 months can you believe that shit?) in 2 weeks. She said shes not gonna draw blood unless there is a need. We also go see the cardiologist on the 26th. He still has that murmor which she is convinced is from his anemia but because he is still breathing fast she wants to cover all areas just to make sure there isnt any other underlying problem.
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