And they say people in the south arent retarded

Thats what I thought to myself today when i went to walmart to get some things. OMG you would not believe the things people were doing. Granted I know that there is a hurricane coming but come one people the most we are supposed to get here is some rain and winds. We may lose power but thats it. Some of these people are gonna feel really retarded when they have 900 cans of spaghetti o's in their cabinet and they didnt even need them. People were buying propane and batteries like they were free. I mean, most of these people live in the ghetto. They live in busted up trailors with 6 cars in the driveway and yard and NONE of them run yet they can come to walmart and spend 1000 plus on stuff? Yeah I dont get it. People were being rude, shoving people out of the way, blocking aisles so that people couldn't get down them because they wanted ALL of one item, it was just plain choas. When Rita came threw it knocked down some trees and power was off for like 2 days and these people are preparing for the end of the world! I just wanted some everyday things like bread but nope, bare shelves and then I saw one woman walk by with 2 carts full of bread. I was seriouslt tempted to ask her if she thought she really needed all that bread because well, its not the end of life as we know it and there was no need to buy over 100 loafs of bread for what could be 3 days tops with no power.
I did however stock up on water and got some top ramen. I have food that can be cooked here. My husband called me a retard cause he was like "You flippin retard, how do you expect to cook all that food with no power?" To that I responded, "Hey moron, Im the one that uses the stove and well, you dont need power to run a gas stove!" I told him the only thing we couldnt use was the oven but thats only because while though its gas, its set to an electric switch and timer but i told him that you dont need to back chicken you can fry it or there is a way to bake it even on the stove.
Im trying to get all my laundry done before all this starts tomorrow and clean a bit. im glad that I have all these candles and that i have all those battery operated tealights. Although, I dont know how long they will last since NO ONE has any 3v button batteries any where since OMG people think they need every type of battery even when they dont. That and my daughter thinks she needs them as a night light ALL night long so im sure there are about 5 of them hat dont work at all. Im not sure what im going to do to entertain her when there is no power. Only thing I can say is THANK HEAVENS FOR LAP TOPS AND POWER CONVERTERS!!! All we need to do is go charge it in the truck for a short time and YAY!! We can watch movies. Im not sure yet how Im gonna be able to handle the heat. I thought about getting one of those HUGE D style lookin batteries and getting the setup for a small generator but yeah they dont have those. I also loked for those battery operated fans and yeah no such luck. I am gonna roast in the heat. I already foresee being in L&D hooked to IV's because I cant drink water fast enough to keep hydrated. I guess once the winds die down there is alway the hose. I dont mind some dirt water to keep me cool lol.

He stuck

HIS FINGERS IN MY WHOHA!! Damn man! Its amazing how I go to the ER because I feel as if Im getting a bladder infection and they send me up to L&D.. Um hello IM not having labor symptoms, just peeing a lot! Yeah so I sit on the monitor for like an hour and they come in and he says, "baby looks good, your urine was concentrated but no infection but we are sending it off for culture but Im sure you are starting to get one... Im gonna check your cervix.." I was like HUH?!?!?! Yeah then I got a look at the paper and I guess I had been having some contractions but not many and I was thinking to myself, yeah ok I know I've had a few but nothing bad, Im not in preterm and I KNOW that they arent strong enough to do anything. I was right, he told me I was still high (that doesnt mean anything to me cause I was high and 2 cm with ashe) and closed and firm. That was a waste of my time let me tell you. Im still cramping in my bladder, I still gotta pee like a mother and yeah.. Im annoyed... Sorry had to rant

so tired

Of being pregnant. I know I am only 18 weeks and still have some time, but Im so over it haha. It hasn't been as bad as it was with Ashelynn, but I have Pubic Sympysis Disorder (my placenta is making WAY to much relaxin way to early and causing my joints and ligaments to become soft and seperate) which is WAY painful. I also learned at my u/s to measure the length of my cervix that some of the blood vessels of the placenta are implanted to deep in my uterus which at delivery can cause massive bleeding and possibly result in a hystorectomy. A hystorectamy? Are you freakin kinddin me? At 24-25 years old?!?!?!? Yea so Im kinda really paranoid about that. i guess thats really the only two reasons I am ready to have this baby. The longer I am pregnant the more of a risk I run at having to have a hystorectamy. On the plus side of that, it wont put me into menopause because I'll still have my ovaries, but what good do ovaries do you if you dont have a uterus? I guess some could contend about what good does a uterus do you if you dont have ovaries.
Im thinking about having my eggs harvested and donating them. I figure since I still have them and my body will still be producing them, why not donate them to someone who needs it? That or donating an entire ovary. I really only need one for the hormone production to keep me from having hot flashes so why not? Give someone else a chance. I know most people are like "wouldnt you wonder about it later, what those kids are like?" Here's my theory on it. Im going to have no bond with this baby. Im not going to carry it, Im not going to be apart of pregnancy process(there from start to finish) so I wont worry or wonder. Sure its my genetic makeup in that baby but I didn't invest anytime in it so no, it wouldn't bother me. I struggled to get pregnant so why cant I help someone else? By all rights, I shouldn't even be pregnant right now, this is my miracle baby to say the least. With as scarred over as my cervix is, they aren't sure how anything managed to get through. I know how much it sucks and how emotionally draining it is to try month after month with no results so if I can make it that much easier for someone else then I am all for it. I want that to be my contribution to life.
On a more positive note, baby is good, growing fine. A little on the small side but so was Ashey. This baby is right on with the measurements for my gestation, but the weight is a little under. Im a small person so they aren't worried about it. I go on the 7th for my 20 week u/s and hopefully he puts in my anatomical u/s and I can make the appt. Im just not thrilled at waiting 3-4 weeks for it since they are that far behind in radiology so Im hoping he'll put it in as a must have. (big fat chance on that one) Im starting to get out of that, "is she fat or pregnant" stage and starting to take a nice round shape. I was so worried that I was gonna blow up this time around but so far, my size and gain has mimiced my pregnancy with Ashelynn.

Finding out the hard way

So I now understand more about why they told me if I got pregnant it would be hard. I had to stop takin my asthma meds when I did because they increades my bp. I also couldnt take my rescue inhaler because it increased my heartrate. Well they told me that coming off them would cause some issues and boy they were right! I have had a little shortness of breath ever since I came off of them, i figured no biggie I can handle it. Well today I couldnt. I was in the PX and I started having trouble breathing. It turned into a full blown attack and on top of that because we were alone I started to panic. Well I stopped and calmed down and checked out and headed for the hospital. I started to freak out again when I was walking in. I almost started crying when I was talking to the guy. He said my sat levels were good but my heart rate was high. He told me just to sit and calm down that I was going to be fine. So I had to wait 2 flippin hours to see the dr. Im freakin pregnant HELLO!!! I cant breath my baby cant breath. So the er doc gave me something, well some things that I could take. One of them Im not sure of so I gotta call OB tomorrow just to make sure its ok to take. I have to take 2 puffs 4 times a day and its a high dose steriod even though he said it wasnt. Umm I think the warning on it says it all. Im feeling a lot better now, still a little tight but definately better. He told me that I can't tough it out that I HAVE to take the medicine.

Just something random

I've realized that in the last 3 years, I have spent a lot of time by myself. Its made me realize a lot about myself. I've come to realize that I do well on my own. I can think for myself more and I like not having to rely on someone to do things for me. Granted, there are some things that I can't do myself and it is nice to have someone else around, but I'm pretty good at living by myself, I think I've had enough practice.
Having L home from Iraq has definately been a BIG adjustment. I'm used to doing things in my own time. If the house is messy, its ok cause its just ashe and I and 9 times out of 10 its just toys and well, anyone who has toddlers or has watched toddlers knows that its pointless to clean everyday. I dont go threw that many dishes so I dont worry whether the dishes get done every day. I can just chill, relax and spend time with A and worry about all the other stuff when she goes to bed. Having L home has drastically changed that. With him it has to be clean EVERYDAY and toys on the floor is unacceptable. Dishes have to be done everyday and Heaven forbid they sit in the dishwasher longer then the next morning. I have a TON of laundry to do and it seems like I could clean the house from top to bottom and within 5 min of him being home, its trashed again and its not the child that did it. I can see the need to make the house look decent, just for peace of mind, but to have it SPOTLESS all day every day, man I tell you what, I might as well quit at this whole house wife thing.
Now that Im pregnant this is getting harder to do because although I am in my second trimester, I am still low on energy and I still have plenty of days where I dont feel good and I am sluggish. While he is now getting a better understanding of day to day life with a child and realizing that life can not be perfect and neither can your house, he still has his moments. I told him that if he thinks that its bad now that I am slow to do things, he needs to wait and see what its like when I have this baby because NOTHING is going to get done for awhile. I am having a repeat c-section which is going to be a lot more painful and take a lot longer to recover from then the first one, but I am going to have to juggle a 4 year old and (a 95% chance that this baby will be) a premie, that I am going to have no energy what so ever. Its bad enough having a newborn with the no sleep in the begining but with a premie the sleep is even less.
Im drifting off, which I tend to do lately, but having him gone to BNOC, I miss him a ton, but the peace and quiet and relaxation is nice, very nice. I think that I need to have more time to myself when L gets home before the baby comes. Whether it be shopping by myself, or going for a drive by myself or even locking myself in my room and just relaxing, Im going to do it. I NEED to do it. I need to do it for my sanity and to keep from losing my mind with constantly cleaning the house.

Ugh the curse of pregnancy!

I have a cold.. well its more like allergies meet my daughters cold. I forgot how crappy it was to be sick or have an allergy flare-up when you are pregnant because you cant take anything! Im still 8 weeks away from being able to take sudafed. I can't even use my inhaler which makes breathing sooooooooo much fun let me tell you. I have my next appt on the 24th and I am going to BEG him to give me something. The nurse practioner I saw for my initial appt on the 5th told me that I can't take the albuterol but I can take cingular or that one inhaler that lasts for up to 12 hours for relief. I can't remember the name. I have a non-albuterol inhaler but it doesn't help me at all. Its like I took nothing. Grrr... My body feels like I got hit by a truck. Im so stuffed up I can feel all my teeth.
Other then feeling crappy, the only pregnancy complaint I have is I'm still experiencing some morning sickness, or all day sickness. I still find myself running to the bathroom or looking at the toliet paper after I wipe to make sure that im not bleeding. So far so good and nothing showed on the ultrasound. I'm considered high risk. I have to go every couple of weeks a see the dr. I also have to have my cervix measured to make sure it doesn't shorten. When that happens, its stuck to the bed my butt gets. Fun right? Baby looked good at my first ultrasound. It was hard for the tech to get some good measurements and still pics for the radiologist and for me because the kid was literally bouncing off the side of my uterus. I ended up being a week ahead of what they thought. Good for me YAY!! I'm now due the 22nd instead of the 28. Im not complaining. I'm now in my second trimester which I guess makes me feel better because the chance of miscarriage goes down a ton.
Thats all I have for now I guess.

Not liking this place

So, so far, this place sucks. I went to the hospital yesterday to switch regions in tricare and go to womens health to get my paperword for housing to show proof of pregnancy and the chick didnt know what she was talking about. Got me really iritated, (not that thats hard to do lately). She kept telling me that the person that could give me the paperwork wasn't there and to come back tomorrow. I was like ok, then I asked her if I needed to have blood work done before she gives me that paperwork to verify. She told me that as long as I had a positive home test that that was fine. Ummm.... yea so anyone can walk in say, "hey I had a positive home test, I need the paperwork to get a bigger house" and then after they move and before the first appt claim miscarriage... She just simply tells me no and after my ob reg I will have all my blood tests done. So I went back there this morning and she says "Oh, shes in the ob reg class and wont be done until 11. Well isnt that FUCKING NICE!!! Why didnt your dumb ass tell me that yesterday? I could have saved myself the severe headache i have right now by sleeping alittle bit longer. So we leave, (wes has to be at his unit to meet and greet and take over the section at 1245) and go get something to eat. I try and call the lady at 5 after and she wasnt there. So we head over there thinking that by the time we get there she would be there. We get there and shes not there.... great, she probabl went to lunch. The same dumb ass chick asks if we want to wait. I say yeah I'll wait for a bit. About 10 min later, she comes back in the waiting room and tells me that she needs my id because she was talking to one of the other nurses and I do need a blood test. Yeah lady thanks for callin me a moron yesterday and makig me wait for no damn reason. So I go and get my blood drawn and leave. Im about to call the lady I need to speak to to see when I can pick up the paperwork. My OB reg class is tuesday. Im hoping that I can skip it and get seen sooner since I am rh- and I am sensatised and I have had 2 leeps and have already had a preemie baby. I am considered high risks so Im not taking any chances. If I cant get an appt sooner Im hoping that I can get all the rest of my blood work done. For cripes sakes, Im 6 weeks and 4 days, I will be 7 weeks 4 days at my ob reg and with leeps, you are supposed to be seen by the time you are 8 weeks to determine whether or not you need a cerclauge. I was told its supposed to be done by 10 weeks. At this rate, I'll be 10 weeks at my first appt.
I also need to talk to her about my 24/7 hangover that I seem to have. I read in my book that if you didn't have it with your first pregnancy, you arent predisposed to having it in any other pregnancy. If you have it in a subsequent pregnancy, it can signal something is wrong or you are pregnant with multiples... It also can just be luck of the draw. I might have felt like shit with ashe just didnt kknow it because I was preoccupied with all the other problems. Im just hoping that everthing goes well and no problems come up. The smell of our laundry detergent I used to LOVE!! now, I cant stand it and the smell is overwhelming. My body soap, shampoo and conditioner? Half the time I get in the shower I end up jsut rinsing off and not using it because I end up with a really bad case of dry heving and end up doubled up. I guess I might feel better if i were able to throw up but I guess thats what I get being able to handle stuff and never really throwing up.