Not so good on the baby front

So good news first.. I am 36 weeks tomorrow!!(34w 1d the drs count but they are gay and NOT going by my u/s) YAY!! haha i know such a small thing to be excited about yet its a big thing to me. On to the not so great news. I haven't grown in a month. I mean I've grown lol but my findal height hasnt grown any which means that baby might not be growing. I have an u/s on tuesday and assuming that radiology does their job right, I'll have my results for my appt on Wed but... this is BJACH, an army hospital and civilian technitions and radiologists so I don't see that happening. Everyone in that effing hospital other than the drs and nurses are freaking civilians and rude as hell who think that they are oh so important and can take their sweet time. So Im hoping that its a fluke that Im only measuring 30-31 weeks.
If he does turn out to have IUGR that means that the end of the road is here because its better for him on the outside then the inside. While I'll be happy to be done with the contractions and the pelvic pain and pressure, I don't know how I can deal with another baby in the NICU if he ends up there. It wasn't so bad with A cause I lived like 5 min away from Providence where they sent us, and I had no other kids, but the NICU here is in Alexandria which is 45 min away and I have Ashe that I will be toting with me. Its hard to keep a 4 year old quiet and calm for that long in a medical enviornment where she cant do anything but sit there.
Im really hoping its not my anemia that is causing an issue. Wes told me that I need to relax and Im getting worked up over nothing that hes fine and its nothing but I can't help but worry cause A was the same way. She was small for gestation. Men they just dont get it.

so tired

Of being pregnant. I know I am only 18 weeks and still have some time, but Im so over it haha. It hasn't been as bad as it was with Ashelynn, but I have Pubic Sympysis Disorder (my placenta is making WAY to much relaxin way to early and causing my joints and ligaments to become soft and seperate) which is WAY painful. I also learned at my u/s to measure the length of my cervix that some of the blood vessels of the placenta are implanted to deep in my uterus which at delivery can cause massive bleeding and possibly result in a hystorectomy. A hystorectamy? Are you freakin kinddin me? At 24-25 years old?!?!?!? Yea so Im kinda really paranoid about that. i guess thats really the only two reasons I am ready to have this baby. The longer I am pregnant the more of a risk I run at having to have a hystorectamy. On the plus side of that, it wont put me into menopause because I'll still have my ovaries, but what good do ovaries do you if you dont have a uterus? I guess some could contend about what good does a uterus do you if you dont have ovaries.
Im thinking about having my eggs harvested and donating them. I figure since I still have them and my body will still be producing them, why not donate them to someone who needs it? That or donating an entire ovary. I really only need one for the hormone production to keep me from having hot flashes so why not? Give someone else a chance. I know most people are like "wouldnt you wonder about it later, what those kids are like?" Here's my theory on it. Im going to have no bond with this baby. Im not going to carry it, Im not going to be apart of pregnancy process(there from start to finish) so I wont worry or wonder. Sure its my genetic makeup in that baby but I didn't invest anytime in it so no, it wouldn't bother me. I struggled to get pregnant so why cant I help someone else? By all rights, I shouldn't even be pregnant right now, this is my miracle baby to say the least. With as scarred over as my cervix is, they aren't sure how anything managed to get through. I know how much it sucks and how emotionally draining it is to try month after month with no results so if I can make it that much easier for someone else then I am all for it. I want that to be my contribution to life.
On a more positive note, baby is good, growing fine. A little on the small side but so was Ashey. This baby is right on with the measurements for my gestation, but the weight is a little under. Im a small person so they aren't worried about it. I go on the 7th for my 20 week u/s and hopefully he puts in my anatomical u/s and I can make the appt. Im just not thrilled at waiting 3-4 weeks for it since they are that far behind in radiology so Im hoping he'll put it in as a must have. (big fat chance on that one) Im starting to get out of that, "is she fat or pregnant" stage and starting to take a nice round shape. I was so worried that I was gonna blow up this time around but so far, my size and gain has mimiced my pregnancy with Ashelynn.

Not liking this place

So, so far, this place sucks. I went to the hospital yesterday to switch regions in tricare and go to womens health to get my paperword for housing to show proof of pregnancy and the chick didnt know what she was talking about. Got me really iritated, (not that thats hard to do lately). She kept telling me that the person that could give me the paperwork wasn't there and to come back tomorrow. I was like ok, then I asked her if I needed to have blood work done before she gives me that paperwork to verify. She told me that as long as I had a positive home test that that was fine. Ummm.... yea so anyone can walk in say, "hey I had a positive home test, I need the paperwork to get a bigger house" and then after they move and before the first appt claim miscarriage... She just simply tells me no and after my ob reg I will have all my blood tests done. So I went back there this morning and she says "Oh, shes in the ob reg class and wont be done until 11. Well isnt that FUCKING NICE!!! Why didnt your dumb ass tell me that yesterday? I could have saved myself the severe headache i have right now by sleeping alittle bit longer. So we leave, (wes has to be at his unit to meet and greet and take over the section at 1245) and go get something to eat. I try and call the lady at 5 after and she wasnt there. So we head over there thinking that by the time we get there she would be there. We get there and shes not there.... great, she probabl went to lunch. The same dumb ass chick asks if we want to wait. I say yeah I'll wait for a bit. About 10 min later, she comes back in the waiting room and tells me that she needs my id because she was talking to one of the other nurses and I do need a blood test. Yeah lady thanks for callin me a moron yesterday and makig me wait for no damn reason. So I go and get my blood drawn and leave. Im about to call the lady I need to speak to to see when I can pick up the paperwork. My OB reg class is tuesday. Im hoping that I can skip it and get seen sooner since I am rh- and I am sensatised and I have had 2 leeps and have already had a preemie baby. I am considered high risks so Im not taking any chances. If I cant get an appt sooner Im hoping that I can get all the rest of my blood work done. For cripes sakes, Im 6 weeks and 4 days, I will be 7 weeks 4 days at my ob reg and with leeps, you are supposed to be seen by the time you are 8 weeks to determine whether or not you need a cerclauge. I was told its supposed to be done by 10 weeks. At this rate, I'll be 10 weeks at my first appt.
I also need to talk to her about my 24/7 hangover that I seem to have. I read in my book that if you didn't have it with your first pregnancy, you arent predisposed to having it in any other pregnancy. If you have it in a subsequent pregnancy, it can signal something is wrong or you are pregnant with multiples... It also can just be luck of the draw. I might have felt like shit with ashe just didnt kknow it because I was preoccupied with all the other problems. Im just hoping that everthing goes well and no problems come up. The smell of our laundry detergent I used to LOVE!! now, I cant stand it and the smell is overwhelming. My body soap, shampoo and conditioner? Half the time I get in the shower I end up jsut rinsing off and not using it because I end up with a really bad case of dry heving and end up doubled up. I guess I might feel better if i were able to throw up but I guess thats what I get being able to handle stuff and never really throwing up.