so tired

Of being pregnant. I know I am only 18 weeks and still have some time, but Im so over it haha. It hasn't been as bad as it was with Ashelynn, but I have Pubic Sympysis Disorder (my placenta is making WAY to much relaxin way to early and causing my joints and ligaments to become soft and seperate) which is WAY painful. I also learned at my u/s to measure the length of my cervix that some of the blood vessels of the placenta are implanted to deep in my uterus which at delivery can cause massive bleeding and possibly result in a hystorectomy. A hystorectamy? Are you freakin kinddin me? At 24-25 years old?!?!?!? Yea so Im kinda really paranoid about that. i guess thats really the only two reasons I am ready to have this baby. The longer I am pregnant the more of a risk I run at having to have a hystorectamy. On the plus side of that, it wont put me into menopause because I'll still have my ovaries, but what good do ovaries do you if you dont have a uterus? I guess some could contend about what good does a uterus do you if you dont have ovaries.
Im thinking about having my eggs harvested and donating them. I figure since I still have them and my body will still be producing them, why not donate them to someone who needs it? That or donating an entire ovary. I really only need one for the hormone production to keep me from having hot flashes so why not? Give someone else a chance. I know most people are like "wouldnt you wonder about it later, what those kids are like?" Here's my theory on it. Im going to have no bond with this baby. Im not going to carry it, Im not going to be apart of pregnancy process(there from start to finish) so I wont worry or wonder. Sure its my genetic makeup in that baby but I didn't invest anytime in it so no, it wouldn't bother me. I struggled to get pregnant so why cant I help someone else? By all rights, I shouldn't even be pregnant right now, this is my miracle baby to say the least. With as scarred over as my cervix is, they aren't sure how anything managed to get through. I know how much it sucks and how emotionally draining it is to try month after month with no results so if I can make it that much easier for someone else then I am all for it. I want that to be my contribution to life.
On a more positive note, baby is good, growing fine. A little on the small side but so was Ashey. This baby is right on with the measurements for my gestation, but the weight is a little under. Im a small person so they aren't worried about it. I go on the 7th for my 20 week u/s and hopefully he puts in my anatomical u/s and I can make the appt. Im just not thrilled at waiting 3-4 weeks for it since they are that far behind in radiology so Im hoping he'll put it in as a must have. (big fat chance on that one) Im starting to get out of that, "is she fat or pregnant" stage and starting to take a nice round shape. I was so worried that I was gonna blow up this time around but so far, my size and gain has mimiced my pregnancy with Ashelynn.