yeah..

So after wasting my time in the er just for the dr to come in and go "Why did you come here? We cant help you why didnt you make an appt?" I am convinced that the hospital here is retarded. I looked at the dr and went "this is an er right? A place to come for emergencies when you cant get to a dr?" "My ass is bleeding! I hardly think that I can wait til tomorrow to be told just to go to the er to find out what is going on with me!" Well the only thing he did was draw my blood for some tests and did a rectal. He told me that the test to see if there was blood present was going to be negative. Yeah right ass, it was positive. I was pissed when he told me that he put in a referal for me and it would take 3-5 days for them to call me and make me an appt. I told him no, I wasnt leaving without knowing what was wrong with me because it wasn't a hemmerhoid that was causing my bleeding and I dont care that the lab work shows that Im not losing a lot of blood. He left the room and came back 20 min later and told me I had an appt tomorrow.
Well I went to the appt and talked to the dr. He was kinda upset that he didnt try and find out or the fact that he even let me go home with the results that he was looking at on the screen regaurding my liver. I dont know what test it was but it came back high. He did an exam to make sure that I indeed didnt have a hemmerhiod and within the first 10 sec of looking, he had found what was wrong with me. I have a fissure. Its a tear in the lining of the anal canal and it extends out. Basically I havea rip in my butthole lol. He asked me some questions and it was determined that the days that Kaeleb was in the PICU that I couldn't take me colace did a lot of harm to my system because it made my stools really hard which is what caused the tear. He put me on something different to help me so that I heal because the colace wasnt helping. So far so good! Just after one day I was able to go to the bathroom with little pain and no blood in the toliet.
He said that the tear was enough to kinda turn my insides out. So, yay no hemmerhoids for me lol. He said that the dr basicaly wasted my time in having me come in and the only good from it was following up on my liver. He had me go down to have the labs redrawn just to make sure it wasnt a fluke. He called me at 630 to tell me it was still high and that I needed to be seen within 4 weeks to have it redrawn and to find out whats going on with me. He said that since he has nothing to compare it to, he doesn't know whether that number is normal for me or not so hes not taking any chances. Who knows whats going on with me. I have my 6 week checkup next week so Im gonna ask the dr if its possible from me having been preggo that thats what is causing the funny results.

kinda personal

ok so this is really embarrassing but its really serious. I have NEVER had a problem with hemmerhiods. Not when I was pregnant with Ashe, not after and not while I was pregnant with k. But.. for some DAMN reason, I have a freaking hemmerhoid now!! Its internal and its to the point that when i poop(tmi) that i have bloody stools and I feel like im pooping out my intestines. I go to the dr on the 21st so hopefully he can tell me whether they need to do something about it. I've been using prep-h for the last couple days and im getting to the point im gonna have to use the appicator and shove it up my butt. I dread having to poop and I have been using colace to help soften my stools but its not helping me at all. I know its because of my section that Im having such a hard time with my stool being really hard. I almost thought i was gonna have to go to the er today because there was sooo much blood.
On to better things... k went to the dr today and hes 9 lbs 13 oz. My little chunky monkey. His labs were good today. Still not great but better. he is now at 28 and 9.5. All his lab work has come back for everything they tested him for and it all came back normal. They still dont know why hes anemic. She said that they can test for all the big key factors but there are some small ones that they cant test for and one of them can be my immunities on my red cells attacked his even though we are both O- and RH-. Sometimes it just happens. It will take him awhile to grow out of it. As he gets older and his body matures, he'll kick it. He still has to be on iron. She was gonna up the does but decided not to cause hes having a problem with reflux. He goes back for his two month well baby check up (yeah 2 months can you believe that shit?) in 2 weeks. She said shes not gonna draw blood unless there is a need. We also go see the cardiologist on the 26th. He still has that murmor which she is convinced is from his anemia but because he is still breathing fast she wants to cover all areas just to make sure there isnt any other underlying problem.