strange things are happeneing

So... I get my period every 25-27 days... Well... day 28 is over in about an hour and I still have no period. I don't even feel like im going to get it...... I had a HUGE temp drop today though so it makes me think its coming soon.... My temp yesterday was 99 and this morning it was 98.4. If its high tomorrow, well then I don't know what to think at this point. I had sex the days that I thought I was ovulating and the day that my tracker says that I did and the days before and after. Then again my tracker also says I am supposed to get my period on the 31? But then it says my average cycle is 26 days with 25 being the shortest and 27 longest??? I normally do get it every 25-27 days right on the money and like I said before, day 28 is over with in an hour. I'll play the chart game and see what comes up. Its only 3 days so its only about 5 days that I have to drive myself nuts.
The wedding was awesome! Had some snags, but then again nothing ever goes as planned and I can not wait!! to see the pics that were taken! We took some really good ones and then we got to take some really goofy ones. The kids were soooooooooo super cute! Ashe, Laiken and Mckinlee did awesome! Ashelynn looked so pretty in her dress with her hair all curled! I wanted to cry when I saw how grown up she looked! I'll be sure to post the link that I'll have my pics on or I may post some of them here.
We are moving on schedule after all. We are going to do an in route tdy move. Basically we are screwing the army and the system lol but it is TOTALLY legal. They pulled all the strings and loops to make sure we were still leaving on time on Thursday and it was all finalized Friday so. They come Monday for the pre-inventory and then friday to pack up. Im ready for all og this to be over with thats for damn sure.
Monday I am going to go cut and color my hair. Wes wants me to go back blonde but I with that I am just going to go with a light brown and blonde highlights. Sounds better to me because I didnt like the blonde all in my hair. The most I'll compromise with him is the lightbrown/dark blonde. I'm also butting about 5 inches off my hair to make it collar bone length. Thats alot of hair and he is not dealing with it so well but I am tired of my hair and the fact that it wont hold a curl anymore with out mass amounts of hairspray!
Heres the link to my chart if you wanna see.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/646e1

FUCK THE ARMY

So lets see, we are all set to move, sorted (well almost sorted stuff out) put in our 30 day notice with the leasing office, I quit my job, movers are coming next week and what happens? He gets a freaking letter in his AKO that says his new DROS date is August 10. hes not worried about it, hes already got orders blah blah blah. So, he calls me today and tells me, "Well looks like we are here until August". ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW????? I have no job, no place to live because I REFUSE to stay here in this shit hole apt any longer and my house is in total disarray!! I can not believe that this is happening! I am so fucking sick of the Army!!! I have been stressed out beyond belief, arguing over stupid shit with Wes because we are both stressed out

I just dont understand

I hate how you make me feel like I am not good enough. I feel like I am losing who I am jsut to please you. When I think that I am doing fine, you find a way to cut me down. I can't be who you want me to be while still continuing to be myself. I don't recognise myself in your eyes anymore.
I can't take the way you talk to me. It feels like I am not important enough for you to talk rationally to. I feel like you think that I am some type of idiot who is incapable of understanding you unless you talk to me like I am a child no older then my own or like I am some simpleton who just can't concieve rational thought. I need for you to have compassion and realize that I am not like everyone else that you deal with. I need for you to tell me the things that bother you and that you don't like before you scream and yell. I need... I need.... I need for you to be who you were 3 years ago......

great

Im freaking sick!!!! Our wedding is in 3 days and I have GREEN snot clogging up my nose!!! On top of that its making it hard to breath and my asthma is kickin in and low and behold I lost my inhaler over Christmas leave and I have no vehicle today because its getting the underbody spray on it for rust protection out in Wasilla so I couldn't make an appt to go to the dr to get another inhaler and maybe something to clean my nose out! UGH!!! I hate this crap. Im so happy to be leaving Alaska. When I was in Florida, the entire 4 months I was down there the only time I got sick was when I caught a stomach bug from someone. The 2 months I was in Pa, the only time I got sick was... well I didnt get sick, I left Fl with the stomach thing and it just kind of played out the rest of the way there. When I get back to Ak, I was sick 5 times in a 2 month span!!!! I again spent 3 weeks in Fl in 06 and didn't get sick once, I came back to ak for a week and had like a 24 hour big!!! I got that right before I left to Az. I was in Az and Ca for about a week and a half and didnt get sick. I came back and was sick 5 days after we got back!!! I spend 99% of my time sick I feel like and I blame it on this stupid state!! How is it that I can spend 4 months in another state and not get sick with a cold once but yet in this God foresaken state I am ALWAYS sick!!

Anyone

who has had a leep(s) knows that it makes your cervix really sensative. I thought that I was doomed for life to suffer pain while having sex. It has restricted our sexual freedom and that urge to have a little bit of "rough sex". I had asked about it at my last appt (by the way I got a letter in the mail telling me i was in FULL remission and didn't have to go back for another test until next year!!!) and she was trying to explain to me the positions of the cervix and blah blah blah. Well I evidently misunderstood her cause I thought she was telling me that the postilion of MY cervix had changed due to the leep. Duh Jessica, she was explain the position of the cervix in general when it comes to ovulation and all that stuff. After reading this thing on fertility friend, (my new FAVORITE website, thanks Jenn!) I understood a little bit better and it had me thinking. We had sex right around the time my chart said I was ovulating and I distinctly remember this because I told Wes when we were in the shower, that I didn't experience any pain or discomfort!! I thought maybe it was a fluke... So to test it out, we just HAD to have sex that night hahahaha. Well, still NO PAIN!!!! I was stoked!! So maybe we hit it on the money. I mean I'm not holding my breath or anything.
Yeah so that's my little story! There may be TMI but I don't care.

So ummany suggestions?

According to this thing I ovulated on CD 16. Its only 4 days after I thought I had but then again I based it on my CM. I had to adjust on of my temps .1 degree cause when I woke up I was bursting at the seams and about to pee my pants so the temp was off .1. It didnt change anything when i went back to make sure. So i had sex the day before and the day after so we shall see how this works out. I doubt I got myself knocked up but who knows.

Have any thoughts?


**edit** I forgot to put in the rest of my CM and yea, so after I realized it went back and fixed it so now my crosshairs are solid!

sick :(

I had what I thought was a stomach bug. My stomach had been hurting really bad and it seemed like everything I ate just went right through me and made me double over in pain. Well ladies and gents, I actually had food poisioning. It was horrible. Right now I just feel like I want to curl up in the fetal position and not move. Even water makes me feel nausious.
I tried to clean yesterday and got the living room done. I did however manage to make dinner too. I felt bad because I wanted to help wes go through our room but didn't get the strength to do it. He got a lot done though. I just need to put the BIG pile of clothes away. I;m hoping that I make it through the day. I just need to get through today and then I have 2 days off and then I only have 3 more days of work left!

I hate when things get lost

So I was gonna do some laundry tonight and pick up Ashes room but low and behold.. I have no laundry room key and I know if I go to the office right now she wont give me one because its to close to the time they close and he maintenance guys are gone for the day so... yeah I have to load the car up (cause my husband took my explorer) and head to my moms. Thank goodness she has toys for Ashe to play with. Im gonna take the dog so she can go run outside and get all her crap out because the last 2 nights, after standing outside for 30 minutes at a time, we have come home from going somewhere and she had pooped on the floor. I just gotta put a flippin sheet on my backseat to keep her from getting it hairy.
So I bought some OPK's tonight. I took the test and then realized I probably should have gone pee a couple times before I took it because I had drinken A LOT of tea when we went to dinner and it said to not drink a lot for at least 2 hours before so yea. The line was there, just a tad lighter then the other line. I'm gonna see how it turns out tomorrow. I think I already ovulated but we shall see. At least this gives me something to judge off of. I thought that I was getting ready to ovualte since I'm on day 13 and when I went to the dr I was on day 13 and she told me I was ovulating so I'm not to sure whats goin on. None the less, right now is just another excuse to bump some boots lol. The hubby went to play poker so he should be in a good mood when he comes home, assuming he doesn't go to Hurtz house tonight and lose a buttload like last time.
We met with the Batallion Chaplin today to finalize the wedding ceremony and fill out all the paperwork for the church. I had to make it known to him to not make any mention at all about us already being married because my Uncle doesn't know and we'd like to keep it that way. He's be hurt if he found out I was already married. I want him and my step dad to give me away. Don't know how that ones gonna work but hey, I can make it lol.
Well I guess time to go load the kid, dog and laundry up and head across town!

Sometimes ya just gotta

So, daylights savings is on Sunday. Not looking forward to it let me tell you. How dare they cut into my sleeping time lol. Oh well, only what, like 7 more working days left until I can sleep in? Yea right, there is so much to do still. I started DEEP DEEP cleaning the house the other day. I pulled out all the funiture away from the walls and cleaned the floor boards and the walls and under the heaters and the blinds and all that stuff. Yesterday i did the kitchen. I pulled out the fridge and the stove and did under them and the floor boards, I scrubbed the floors, cleaned under the heater in the dining room, the blinds in there, the walls. I also did the bathroom the other day. That one was easy cause it always gets a scrub down. Im really picky about my bathroom so it gets scrubbed from top to bottom almost every week if not every couple of days.
I need to start on Ashes bedroom. I think that I'll start that today when I get home. I need to go threw all her toys and decide what Im keeping and what to get rid of. Then I need to clean her baseboards and her walls. Im need to do her window and blinds. Im also gonna finish putting all her clothes that don't fit her in those space saver bags. OMG!! those things are awesome!! I have already used 4 of them and let me tell you, it got rid of like 8 boxes of clothes!! After that Im gonna clean her carpet. Not like it needs it. When Wes was deployed, I seem to have taken all my frustration and anger out on the carpets and shampooed them at least 3-4 times a month lol. Yeah Im a loser. After that, its on to our room!! Yeah I don't even wanna think about it. We have so many boxes in our room because we had no where to store them. I also need to start sticking the clothes that we dont wear all the time in the space saver bags. I just want to make it an easy process when the movers come. Im also gonna see if I can't get rid of some of the boxes. Im sure that some of them are only half full so that should help. The baseboards shouldn't be bad because I did them after we got rid of the dog to get rid of any hair that might linger. I do need to get up and clean the ceiling from where the candle left a black mark. Pretty much the only thing I want to have to do after the movers pack up the house is just the closet shelves, the kitchen cabinets and the floors as well as have the carpets cleaned. The carpets are the only thing I wont have to clean myself!
Im not so stressed out anymore. Now that Im realizing its not as big a job as I thought it would be I'm feeling better. Boy do I suck at spelling.. took me 3 tries to spell better lol. I think the biggest thing that I'm worried about is the drive with Ashe. I shouldn't be because shesa good car rider, just it is a long time for her to be in the car. Work is also something that is bothering me. The boss' are actually getting upset with me because I wont stay longer!! They don't feel comfortable I guess with the three other guys that are here because nothing is getting done and Im the one doing the clean up. That and they are gettin ready to move th Ops Department and the duties are changing so the want me to stick around for that. Im thinking about telling them that I'll come in for a couple hours in the afternoon like3 times a week to help out but thats all. That or tell them I'll go sit in with each person on each shift to make sure they know what they are supposed to be doing. Not that that would help because after I leave they are just gonna go right back to doing jack shit.
Today has turned out to be a pretty good. Started out crappy, but the sun is out now and it just looks like scattered clouds.. (I know I bounce around but thats my... hey look something shiney!) I do have a lot on my mind but I just need to sort it all out in my head in order to put it into words. Its something that Wes and I talked about the other night and something that somone else said ironically lol. Hmmm... seems to be on everyones minds lately I guess. That or we are just smart women who see things in a true light ;)

YAYNESS FOR NEWNESS!

So yesterday I was all stoked to go shopping after work. I got home, washed my hair and put my make-up on. (im tired of looking frumpy because of work). I looked up some stuff on the computer and then Kristin called me to tell me that she was downstairs. So I go out and get in the truck and she tells me that we need to take Racheal back to post. Braxton had shut the door on Darrin and locked them both out so she said she took Racheal with her so she didn't have to wait outside in the cold for them to come unlock the door. So we get there and Kristin pulls into the garage. Ok a little weird, why if we are just dropping her off. Kristin tells me she needs to get something. So we go inside and there in the livingroom is Jenn, Laura, Erin and Anita (and later Melissa). I was like ummm ok, whats going on. They threw me a suprise bridal shower. I had fun and it was nice to hang out without kids and do silly things. We made up a story that Im gonna post as a myspace bulletin so if you see it and it looks odd, thats it lol.
Then after everyone leaves, Im waiting for Kristin to decide whether she wants to go out tonight cause if she does, we still have to go to the mall and then she can take me home. Well, we decide to opt out and just order pizza. So I call my husband who I haven't seen ALL DAY!! since I left him in bed that morning to go to work, to find out where him and Ashe are so they can come over. He told me that they were on their way home and had stopped to get Ashe some popcorn.. Yeah ok, what the hell, we have it at home and you two have been in Wasilla all day. So I wait about 40 min and still no hubby and daughter.... I call again and no answer... I call again... no answer. So after a couple min he calls me back and says hes almost to Ft. Rich. Cool, that means like getting ready to hit the gate. 10 min goes by and they aren't there. So I call and he says, "this drive is longer then I thought." They were in Wasilla still when I had talked to him. So, I go in the kitchen to make some cucumber salad and then they walk in. So I go in and hug and kiss ashes and get her coat and boots off and I pick her up and I ask her what she did today. She tells me "I ate and went with daddy and I got a new car!" BUSTED!!!! He bought it!!! Im so stoked!!! Its an 08 Limited Explorer. Its got the Nav system which is super cool and sync in it for your phone. Its got a moon roof (he wanted the moon instead of the dvd. we are gonna put in headrest dvd's) got the power step rails that come out when you open the door, third row electric seating. Its the bomb basically. (Yes I said bomb lol)
I got to drive it home last night because we played some drinking games and NO WAY was he going to drive my brand new truck home after a few beers. Hes something of a light weight now plus I dont drink anymore really anyways . I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the way it drives. Im not allowed to officially take it for my car until Tuesday. Ya know the whole little boy with a new toy thing... Well he figures since he has Ashe he gets it today and tomorrow he has to go back and finish all the paerwork since the bank was closed by the time it was all done. So I get it tuesday. I have to go today after work to go clean out my car so he can start using it on Tuesday. Its not dirty, I just need to vacumme out the dog hair from Gidgette when I brought her to the house and take out Ashes toys and clean the windows (from my daughter) and Armoral it. Other then that its clean. Im prolly gonna wash the floor matts and clean the seats. Not that they need it cause I just did it not that long ago but he bought me a pretty new car so I want to make sure that the old one hes taking is all pretty and clean. Not that it wont be a mess shortly after from him anyways lol.
Yesterday was a good day. Im happy and very thankful that I have such wonderful friends. Im really gonna miss you guys when i leave :(

hahahahahahahahahahahaah

I'm tired of your empty threats. Every time you say, "well expect papers" I just have to laugh cause it never goes any farther. You think that they are gonna give someone of your character, who bitches about having to pay child support, who agreed IN COURT that you would pay for her plane tickets to come see you until age 11, and then try and tell me I have to pay for the tickets for her to see you again because you paid last time, who doesn't call his daughter for months on end leaving me to explain to a 3 year old why her other daddy doesn't call her yet her daddy that lives with her will call her while hes at work to tell her he loves and misses her all the time, who wants to complain because I said he had to stay in Virginia for a week while we were there because its going to be a lot of change for her with moving and being away from everything she knows, more custody? Think again.
You are selfish and only think about yourself and not the well being of your daughter. Did you ever stop to think that having everything she knows taken away from her and being in a place she doesn't know, around people she barely knows isn't going to be a traumatic adjustment on its own? You want to throw in taking her away from the only person she knows and bring her hundreds more miles away around more people she doesn't know and stay with you, who she really doesn't know all to well? Man, you need to grow up.
Go ahead and try and tell a judge I never let you see her. You agreed in court that you would come to where she was to see her unless I agreed that you could take her. Well guess what, I'm not agreeing to it so that means you have to come to her! As for "never" letting you see her, what a joke. You had her every other weekend from April 05- Aug 05, you got to see her in June 06 in which you kept her for a week and then for a week and a half Dec 06 and then on top of that, I let you take her to Idaho against my better judgement for 3 weeks! Yeah, go ahead, tell a judge I never let you see her. The one time I did agree for you to take her out of state, she comes home with a busted tooth that you tried to play off like it had always been that way because you were irresponsible and left her in a bathtub, with only a 5 year old and walked away! You went and did your damn dishes and couldn't hear her call you to go to the bathroom! What would have happened if she would have busted her head and knocked herself unconscious while trying to get out of the tub? The other kid in the tub wouldn't have known what to do and you most certainly wouldn't have heard her calling you! Yes, I may leave her in the tub and walk into a different room, but here's the difference between you and I. My house is smaller, I am able to hear her from whatever room I am in. I don't leave her alone for more then a min at a time and if I take longer then I thought, I at least say her name to check on her. I don't worry about her drowning because I don't put a lot of water in the tub. I don't worry about her slipping because I have safe guarded my tub and if she tries to get out by herself, she has enough grip so she wont slip and something on the floor to make sure she won fall when she gets out.
Please, go ahead and request more. I will bring all your dirt out in the open and I seriously doubt they will give someone who is going to Korea more custody. The judge will tell you to wait and revisit the situation later. I also don't think that your history with your daughter and your recurrent history of not calling for months on end will help you. Tell you what, you continue to not bitch about have to pay $500 a month to support your daughter, and make more of an effort to be a part of her life and not BITCH about having to pay to see her, then maybe, just maybe, you might get more in return.
I also love how you try and tell the military that you are her main provider. Hahahaha what a freaking joke. When you provide ALL of your income to taking care of her and making sure that she has a roof over her head, clothes on her back and food to fill her up, then you can claim that you provide for her more then 50%. Until then, don't act like you do.
I also don't give a flying fuck if anyone shows him this. I'm not trying to hide anything and I back up everything that I say. I have every email conversation with him, every IM, every phone bill that shows how many times he has called and how many times I have had to call him the last almost 4 years. I have proof that he filed a false report with the state as well as defamation of character on my behalf. Funny thing that nothing was ever done, nothing was ever investigated and you believed someone who has a history of lying, who has restraining orders out on her and has been investigated herself and found guilty of the charges brought against her. You are hilarious!!